Dig Deep

Construction is all around. It begins when I leave my driveway no matter which way I turn. New relocating residents purchasing new homes under construction to employ new positions held in buildings constructed from scratch only miles away. New and larger roads are under construction to alleviate the fast growing gridlock.

Before anything can be built, bulldozers and large equipment are required to produce firm foundations. Intense labor moves gradually to imply a completion date is absent from the calendar. Part of the reason a construction sight has little to no change in the beginning is because the ground is dug up to expose what lies beneath. Old dirt must come up in order to build a strong foundation.

Much the same, our old dirt must be taken away. New must be brought in.

Romans 6:6-8 says, “We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him.”

Have you ever stopped to wonder what your sinful self is? Not what comes to first thought or at second glance. I am talking deeper than the sin, bad choices, guilt, and shame.

For years I walked around wearing an ornate cross around my neck as I walked into church and taught my kids all about the glory of God. I worked to live the best Christian life I knew. Constantly learning and yearning to know more about the new life I’d committed to. So often I felt as if I was not on solid ground. I knew my foundation was in Christ, but it didn’t always seem as clear. I felt like there was a struggle within.

Why did it feel as though I was in constant battle with myself?

The answer began to settle inside with questions unanswered. What things from my past made me who I am? Why was I so broken? What sinful self did Jesus die on the cross to save?

Dig deep. Find what lies beneath your past.

I discovered I too needed to dig to expose what was lies beneath. I needed to dig deep into what made me who I really was. I supposedly died to self to be made new, but I did not really know what the core of my old self was. I needed to dig although painful. I needed to understand what molded my thought processes. I needed to know why certain characteristics now made me feel comfortable despite negative outcome. I needed to distinguish what was supposedly dead and I unknowingly kept alive.

The process has been slow and distressing. It was nothing short of agonizing digging into childhood finding specific moments in time where my mind molded into anxious ways of thinking. Some moments brought smiles to my face and even laughs of joy. Other thoughts were distasteful and difficult to examine encouraging me to stop the bulldozing. It was the uncomfortable feelings I knew I needed to focus on the most. These were the harmful habits and characteristics I was looking for and still kept alive.

The process is faithfully an ongoing part of my current growth. To help make sense of it all, I write most of what I process so I can go back and review. I find my true feelings of what really happened in the dug up moments when I let my mind run free. Writing makes my thoughts real and something to look back on. The words are something tangible to shape intimate and life changing prayers around to achieve true Godly transformation.

More importantly than the growing pains, digging through the mess has opened my eyes to see so many God touches on my life. The extending grace and love bestowed upon my life has been extraordinary. The activity of unchanging tenderness and guidance to relieve the pain of unpleasant memories has shifted attention to happy thoughts I unintentionally buried with the bad.

God is a good God. No matter my brokenness, frailty and ignorance, God remained complete, strong and wise.

Now the fruitfulness of my faith is standing on a more firm foundation only to be more developed. The Godly confidence strengthens my broken, frail and ignorant foundation. Doing the work to have Christ alive in me even at my very core assures me scripture is alive in me. I wholeheartedly believe I am working to no longer be a slave to my sin.

God make us new. Open our eyes to see what is not our flaw, what is our error and how to transform it all into a beautiful child of God. May the deceit of the world show its true destruction leaving a bad taste in our mouth to lead us to You. Please fill us with your perfect love, calming grace and discerning wisdom. Guide us to take the proper steps and give us the courage to dig deep. May the Holy Spirit guide our efforts and set us free from the power of our sin. We love you so much Father. Thank you for the cross making this all possible. It is in Jesus perfect name we pray. Amen.

You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That’s right – you don’t go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set. You, God, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; then I’d never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel. I thank you for speaking straight from your heart; I learn the pattern of your righteous ways. I’m going to do what you tell me to do; don’t ever walk off and leave me. – Psalm 119: 1-8 (MSG)

Absolutely Unconditionally Visible

Aimlessly staring at the falling pages, I could feel the soft edge of each page slip down my fingertips. Where is it God? What am I supposed to read to alleviate the pain? I am at a loss for words. I don’t even know what I am feeling. Please help me.  The pages slowly rested on themselves open to Romans 8. I began to read verse 26 for the first time. Words magnified in my mind as if read through a megaphone direct to my heart.

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.”

Stunned, I read the words once more. They were not imagined out of desperation like a mirage in the desert. God began to renew with words resident to the Bible for centuries. Words read and reread by generations were new and invigorating. The words were mine to claim in a broken state of mind.

I had done nothing fancy. I didn’t prepare a grand environment perfectly inviting for the Holy Spirit. I didn’t assemble a grand feast. I wore regular clothes and most likely had little to no makeup. The material things of this world were not important. What mattered was the yearning desperation of my hurting heart. I went to God for answers and the Holy Spirit was ever present and focused entirely on me. Only moments earlier I sat hopeless feeling simple, unloved and misunderstood. Touched by the Holy Spirit to shine a light in my darkness.

Lock your heart around the Word of God.

Jesus introduces the Holy Spirit in John 14:26. “But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative – that is, the Holy Spirit – he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.”

God may be invisible to the eye, but He is present and alive in our hearts. We have the choice to accept God into our lives with honor, respect and to humbly obey Him. It would be impossible to live a life honorable to active Christianity without the help from God’s advocate – the Holy Spirit. Verse 27 continues, “I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.”

The best gifts are the ones that come just because. I am delighted and feel so loved when my husband brings fresh flowers home. My heart is warmed when my son brings something made with his own little hands because he loves me. Gratitude wraps my heart when my daughter presents me with a gift she purchased with her own hard earned money. Even the magnitude of these gifts is incomparable to God’s gift of the Holy Spirit wrapped with peace. Accepting, recognizing and utilizing the gift of the Spirit can be complex.

How do you know it is God? God knows you personally. He intently crafts your Holy Spirit moments to be yours and yours alone. When you can’t find words to fully describe how you felt after the encounter, the Spirit of God has been at work in and around you.

What do you do when the silent voice of the Spirit comes upon you? Exactly what it says. Verify it is indeed the Voice of God. Pray. Read the Word of God. If you find more conviction to affirm the nudging, pray some more and walk where God is calling you. If the Sprit comes upon you in a time of need for comfort, wisdom, understanding, peace, acceptance and forgiveness, don’t ignore it. Soak up God's perfectness like a dry sponge. Let it fall from you and drip onto others and the situations you are faced with. Soak up God’s perfect gifts in an imperfect world.

The continual random occurrences are far from random. God puts things in your life to get your attention and wow you. The sooner you stop rationalizing things as accidental, incidental and odd you will be capable of accepting the gift God has bestowed to you - the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is a crucial and insightful tool to active Christianity. The Holy Spirit is intimate and personal. The Holy Spirit is the awareness of God as if He stands right next to you. Cheering for you. Wiping your tears. Holding your hand. Whispering wisely. Patiently teaching. Gracefully forgiving. Always accepting. Perfectly loving.

God loves you beyond all earthly reasoning and understanding. He knows we need His help. He knows the teachings and examples of the Bible are not enough for our fragile minds. He knows we are slow to say yes to His ways and even slower to move in His name. He knows the sacrifice of Jesus’ blood shed on the cross is impactful to an active Christian lifestyle. He knows we need more. His answer for more is the gift of the Holy Spirit. God lives and works through the Spirit for you personally. With the Spirit of God, He is absolutely, unconditionally and without a doubt very much visible.

Pray to invite for the Spirit of Truth into your life.  God is not a forceful God. He wants to be invited into your world. New, old, lost, seeking, found and secure – no matter where you are on your Christ journey, the Spirit of God can and will work in and for you.

Father, help each and every one of us feel the gift of your Spirit when we need it most. When we don’t quite understand the meaning of the Bible verse. When we are lost in pain and confusion. When we know what is right and do the opposite. Please send your Spirit to guide us.

Thank you for the sacrifice of Jesus’ blood shed on the cross. Thank you for Jesus’ resurrection and the forgiving of my sins. Thank you for the gift of the Spirit. May it guide me to an active Christian lifestyle to help bring others to your Kingdom. In Jesus precious and perfect name I pray. Amen.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. – Romans 12:2 NLT

To Do List

The doer in me wants to get all the items checked off the To Do List before doing what really matters. Last week I found myself in several waiting rooms completing the Appointment List for my daughter while she was on Spring Break. Today I am tempted to not write to focus on getting the next list taken care of. My husband’s car needs to be inspected. My car needs new tires and an oil change. Renewing my driver’s license in person completes the Driver’s To Do List with a bonus to clean them both inside and out.

It is easy to push writing aside to plan the best course of action and get these items checked off the list. It is more natural for me to lock in thought over the amount of money the current list will cost. The unfortunate reality is I’m not just pushing writing to the side. I am pushing God to the side and asking Him to wait. The reality is there will be another list after the Driver’s To Do List is complete. Then what?

What is it for you? Why do you tell God to hold on? I’m currently faced with putting car needs in front of my time with God. The Driver’s To Do List is very important and could cause expensive and unnecessary consequences if not completed in time. I have to ask myself if it is reason enough to ask God to wait. Is any list or item of importance enough to get so caught up we ignore God completely?

Writing is more than a collection of random words specific to one topic for me. It is where I meet the Holy Spirit. Writing compels me to read the Word of God and leaves me in anticipation of the next collection of words I write inspired by God. Writing helps me renew. Last week I wrote and shared a little about renewing with God. Before I go any further, I’d like you to take a moment and think. What are you tempted and distracted with resulting in asking God to wait?

Sometimes I feel a little sarcastic with God. Almost like a rude and out of line teenager. Embarrassingly I have even demonstrated a tired preschooler refusing to do what is expected. I know what is asked of me yet I don’t always want to push through my stubborn will. I want the results, but struggle to stay focused on the intentionality involved. Active Christianity is hard! I don’t mean to ask or even expect God to wait. It just kind of happens sometimes.

The world tells us to do as little work as possible and expect amazing results. My dad demonstrated differently for me. He worked tirelessly without ceasing for the amazing results. I could look to him to provide for me. I trusted and respected him because when he wasn’t working, he was spending time with the family. I didn’t want to disappoint him. I wanted to spend all the time I could with my dad when he was home. Sometimes when he left, I watched his work truck back out and drive away. I watched until he turned on the joining street and was out of site. After my mom received the call he was on his way home, I would sit and watch for him.

Having this as a child helps me relate my relationship with my dad to my Heavenly Father. I don’t want to disappoint God. I want to experience as much God as I can. When I am with Him, I am beyond satisfied and fulfilled. I even miss the presence of God when my stubborn will takes over. Even more, the thought of God hanging his head with dissatisfaction for my behavior, choices, actions and attitude is disheartening. I want to be a child of God that learns from mistakes and strives to be better. Not better in the eyes of those opinions that don’t matter, but the opinion of God and the people He put in my life to truly love me. For this, I have all the reason in the world to fight through my stubborn will and make important things a little less intrusive in my schedule.

Lock your heart around the Word of God.

Nothing and I mean nothing rewards and renews me like my time with the Lord. Even now I sit with the sounds of my husband typing away and talking business on the phone. The smallest things like sounds of my son crunching and chewing his pretzels can distract me. From time to time we even experience major melt down interruptions. Regardless of what goes on around me, my mind has to be focused on writing. I have to be intentional to come back after each distraction because there is no such thing as the perfect moment or the perfect time. God never expected perfect. Why do we think He does when it comes to the time we spend with Him? I love when I am engaged in writing beautifully for the Lord. Some things no one reads. Some collections of my words are shared publicly and some are saved for a bigger purpose. No matter the direction my words take, the focus must remain. Where my mind is, my heart follows. I am captivated how old words from the Bible have new meaning and spring new inspiration. The Godly renewing in me is beautiful and worth every moment I decided to say no to everything else.

So what does meeting with God look like for you? Not much perhaps. Believe it or not, there is always time. You have to be willing to say no to something a little less important so you can say yes to God. It is not always as complicated as we make it. It could be as simple as using the time we sit in carpool lines to open the Bible on our phone instead of our favorite and addicting game. You could turn your thoughts into something tangible you can see, read and look back on by journaling. Maybe you need to turn your ears to the gentle voice that reads the Bible from the phone app as opposed to music with bad message after bad message. Follow up by listening to good Christian music. A positive word followed by an inspiring message will properly set your mind to focus on God.

Maybe you need to give 30 minutes of Netflix up to reading some scripture. I’m not talking about just opening the Bible and reading where the pages fall and your eyes focus. Be more intentional. Get creative if you don’t know where to start. Netflix is already on. Perhaps watch an episode of The Bible and follow up with your Bible to read about what you just watched. Maybe you have a children’s Bible in the house. Read it (preferably with your children) and follow up with your Bible. Sometimes we just need a starting point. Being intentional and creative to seek your starting point is step one.

Perhaps you need more specific guidance and renewing. Maybe you are exhausted from raising kids, school, work or all of the above. The demands just keep coming. No matter how much you put in, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Try to Google bible verses on exhaustion. You will find several helpful and encouraging Bible verses to guide you to the right place in your own Bible. Maybe it will bring you to a Bible verse you have read many times over and this time it will have new meaning in your currently state of mind. Your search will also pull up images with Bible verses to help renew your mind and heart on things of the Lord.

There are so many different ways, books and tools to utilize in being intentional to get the most out of your time studying the Word of God for application. After all, what good is reading the Word of God if we don’t apply what we learn? For me in the past it has been taking lunch breaks with God. When my husband was only my boss years ago, he used to make fun of me for working on Bible studies during my lunch breaks. Now that he is my husband, he is thankful I took the time to renew with God. It has matured me in ways the world can’t. Time studying the Bible and the ways of God has made me a better wife. Not a perfect wife, but most certainly a better one. It has also matured my husband from making fun of Bible studies to one who is personally active in his own.

Things change. Currently step one is being intentional to take my Bible, a pencil and a lined notebook with me most everywhere I go. Step one is easy to remember and requires little action. It is in step two I find the renewing process take place because of purposeful action. When I actually use the tools, the writing process begins and the start of focused restoration commences. If I don’t have my notebook or Bible, I can use my phone. Removing excuses has been key for me. Remaining steadfast has always been essential in my walk with Christ. The tools are usually always there. It is up to me to use them.

Lord, help me and all who have read these words be more intentional to renew with you. May verses like Romans 12:2 be our standard way of thinking and the Bible be our rescue life preserver when we feel like we are drowning in the ugly of the world. God no matter the tools, resources or environment, I pray the Holy Spirit would help make our time meaningful and applicable. Without the Holy Spirit, it can all fall short. Please be present in our life and surround us with your loving peace. In Jesus perfect name I pray, Amen.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. – James 1:22 (ESV)

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. – Romans 12:2 (NLT)

Strength in God

“Those who grow up without validation are especially susceptible to seeking validation…Maybe your dad was too busy and your mom was not emotionally present to see you for who you really are.”

The words began to permeate as Pastor Jim began to expand in explanation of his  sermon.

Significance. Security. Strength.

May dad worked hard and tirelessly to meet the needs of our family. He retired my mom when my younger sister was in Kindergarten so she could dedicate her time and energy to answering the demands of three elementary aged daughters. My mom was always home when we were. She prepared home cooked meals and maintained a more than clean home environment. She taught us how to manage our money, care for a home, introduced us to God and demonstrated a lasting marriage among many other valuable lessons. On the surface, we were a happy, orderly and normal family. Despite having the exterior and surface needs met, I felt something was missing.

Religion also contributed to the feelings of inadequacy. I was not taught to learn how to grow a personal and meaningful relationship with Jesus because God loved me just the way I was. My mistakes were ever present on my mind and I felt as if I was not good enough in my home and at church. For a large portion of my life, I did not take risks, think or act adventurously, experiment or wonder. I fell into a safe and cautious way of thinking and living. Because I didn’t experience praise, encouragement and support, I did not understanding the point in trying to become something better or something of value and worth. When I got older and more mature in my high school years, I began to experience something foreign to me. Teachers and counselors encouraged me past normal. Accomplishments were achieved. New goals were set and accomplished. Still I felt no praise, encouragement or support at home. Often times I received the complete opposite and felt the need to validate my reasons for wanting to exceed in ways that seemed rebellious to my parents.

The clash with my parents led me down a path of impulsive and shameful decision-making. At the early age of 18 I left home to start my own life with very little life experience and knowhow. Thankfully I never tested the waters of making bad decisions to break rules, laws or get myself into that kind of trouble. I found myself in a more life altering chaotic kind of trouble. I entered into a relationship that made me feel even more worried and worthless. Without realizing, I longed to feel significant and secure. I wanted to have strength to stand up for myself, but I was completely weak making all the wrong decisions to get me further and further away from what I really needed.

Thankfully I have learned to seek God for things like validation, security and significance. As Jim explained, the things of the world are fleeting, fickle and isolating. Finding my worth in my Savior is everlasting and satisfies deep down in ways nothing of this world compares to.

Significance comes from the perfect love of God. Christ Jesus died on the cross for me. There is no other truth on this earth as lasting and impressionable as the Messiah laying his life down for mine. (1 Corinthians 3:16)

Security is in my faith. God won’t turn His back on me and will guide me down a path of righteousness. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Strength is from the Ruler of the Heavens above and beyond. I can do all things through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

Lock your heart around the Word of God.

1 Peter 2:9 says I am God’s own possession. I have to remind myself of this truth daily. I really do. If I do not cling to the Word of God and the way it speaks to me personally with angelic emphasize, I am weak and useless. The world around me starts to suffocate me enticing negative thoughts and feelings of defeat to overpower me. Finding the strength to fight the threat of vulnerability and uncertainty has proven false to anything other than seeking strength from God Himself. He is all I need. When I am intentional to remember His truths, I am renewed. I am encouraged. I am inspired. I have reason and purpose to read the Bible. I benefit from reminders of God’s love, acceptance and confidence. My endurance comes from premeditated decisions to fill my day with Christian music and praying to God throughout my day. When I feel neglected, discarded and unimportant, I have to start the cycle to renewing all over again. Not because God ran out of the Good Stuff, but because I let the Good Stuff fall short and meaningless.

God I pray publicly today for the will and desire to constantly renew with you because of my weaknesses. You have proven time and time again to be the answer to my deepest needs yet I fall prey to feelings of powerlessness. May my lasting strength come from you. Thank you for your continued love, acceptance and assurance. May my identity remain in the truth that I am your own possession. I am your coworker. We have work to do. Help me to be secure in myself to be equipped to share The Good Stuff with others.. In Jesus precious and perfect name I pray. Amen.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

- Psalm 16:8 (NIV)

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. - Romans 12:2 (NLT)