Strength in God

“Those who grow up without validation are especially susceptible to seeking validation…Maybe your dad was too busy and your mom was not emotionally present to see you for who you really are.”

The words began to permeate as Pastor Jim began to expand in explanation of his  sermon.

Significance. Security. Strength.

May dad worked hard and tirelessly to meet the needs of our family. He retired my mom when my younger sister was in Kindergarten so she could dedicate her time and energy to answering the demands of three elementary aged daughters. My mom was always home when we were. She prepared home cooked meals and maintained a more than clean home environment. She taught us how to manage our money, care for a home, introduced us to God and demonstrated a lasting marriage among many other valuable lessons. On the surface, we were a happy, orderly and normal family. Despite having the exterior and surface needs met, I felt something was missing.

Religion also contributed to the feelings of inadequacy. I was not taught to learn how to grow a personal and meaningful relationship with Jesus because God loved me just the way I was. My mistakes were ever present on my mind and I felt as if I was not good enough in my home and at church. For a large portion of my life, I did not take risks, think or act adventurously, experiment or wonder. I fell into a safe and cautious way of thinking and living. Because I didn’t experience praise, encouragement and support, I did not understanding the point in trying to become something better or something of value and worth. When I got older and more mature in my high school years, I began to experience something foreign to me. Teachers and counselors encouraged me past normal. Accomplishments were achieved. New goals were set and accomplished. Still I felt no praise, encouragement or support at home. Often times I received the complete opposite and felt the need to validate my reasons for wanting to exceed in ways that seemed rebellious to my parents.

The clash with my parents led me down a path of impulsive and shameful decision-making. At the early age of 18 I left home to start my own life with very little life experience and knowhow. Thankfully I never tested the waters of making bad decisions to break rules, laws or get myself into that kind of trouble. I found myself in a more life altering chaotic kind of trouble. I entered into a relationship that made me feel even more worried and worthless. Without realizing, I longed to feel significant and secure. I wanted to have strength to stand up for myself, but I was completely weak making all the wrong decisions to get me further and further away from what I really needed.

Thankfully I have learned to seek God for things like validation, security and significance. As Jim explained, the things of the world are fleeting, fickle and isolating. Finding my worth in my Savior is everlasting and satisfies deep down in ways nothing of this world compares to.

Significance comes from the perfect love of God. Christ Jesus died on the cross for me. There is no other truth on this earth as lasting and impressionable as the Messiah laying his life down for mine. (1 Corinthians 3:16)

Security is in my faith. God won’t turn His back on me and will guide me down a path of righteousness. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Strength is from the Ruler of the Heavens above and beyond. I can do all things through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

Lock your heart around the Word of God.

1 Peter 2:9 says I am God’s own possession. I have to remind myself of this truth daily. I really do. If I do not cling to the Word of God and the way it speaks to me personally with angelic emphasize, I am weak and useless. The world around me starts to suffocate me enticing negative thoughts and feelings of defeat to overpower me. Finding the strength to fight the threat of vulnerability and uncertainty has proven false to anything other than seeking strength from God Himself. He is all I need. When I am intentional to remember His truths, I am renewed. I am encouraged. I am inspired. I have reason and purpose to read the Bible. I benefit from reminders of God’s love, acceptance and confidence. My endurance comes from premeditated decisions to fill my day with Christian music and praying to God throughout my day. When I feel neglected, discarded and unimportant, I have to start the cycle to renewing all over again. Not because God ran out of the Good Stuff, but because I let the Good Stuff fall short and meaningless.

God I pray publicly today for the will and desire to constantly renew with you because of my weaknesses. You have proven time and time again to be the answer to my deepest needs yet I fall prey to feelings of powerlessness. May my lasting strength come from you. Thank you for your continued love, acceptance and assurance. May my identity remain in the truth that I am your own possession. I am your coworker. We have work to do. Help me to be secure in myself to be equipped to share The Good Stuff with others.. In Jesus precious and perfect name I pray. Amen.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

- Psalm 16:8 (NIV)

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. - Romans 12:2 (NLT)