How Do You Do It?

Sitting across from my husband he asked, “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”   

“Somewhere in Luke it says to take up your cross daily so you don’t give into your old, sinful ways. How do you do it?”

At first I wasn’t sure if it was a rhetorical question. I

verified if he wanted me to answer and I really couldn’t without thinking about it first.

“I prayed for it. I wanted to live a life surrounded by God and knew such a thing was far too much for me to do alone. What I wanted seemed impossible. I have messed up so many times, even with the best intensions. I was tired of feeling as if I was losing so I asked God to give me that kind of life.”

One of my joys is being able
to spiritually grow with my partner in life. 

I was honored the one person who knows my everything asked me for clarification and real answers on such a personal topic. He sees my relationship with God as something real and genuine. He sees me at my best and worst and he knows that God is the center of my everything. What an honor for my husband to see God when he sees me. I gave him answers as best I could on the spot and our conversation grew more and more rich as we enjoyed our sushi, but it didn’t stop there. His initial question kept ringing in my mind to dig deeper into the real answers. Although I was honored by his observation and the fact he trusted me with that question, I was troubled I could not answer it better.

I think it has a lot to do with my personality for a couple of reasons. I can be alone with God and be okay in the still silence because I don’t feel lonely although no one physically is by my side. I am able to sit with God and be happy with God as my friend. I also like to study my circumstances and situations. I don’t like to shrug things off as coincidental. Not like a history study...boring! I think it is because I often struggle with being too hard on myself. Too often I would say things to myself more harshly than I would a friend or loved one. When I actually said the harsh words out loud for the loved one to hear, they would look at me with disgust for thinking so negatively about the person they love. So I have tried to change that about myself by studying what happens to me as a learning experience. Even if the situation is good, I take mental note of why it went so well. The really cool thing about my spiritual growth is I am learning to take what I have learned from the Bible and Bible studies to relate it to what happens in my circumstances.

How do I do it? I welcome God’s team into my life intentionally almost every day. (I am not going to lie. I fail to be intentional every single day, but thankfully the Holy Spirit intervenes when my intentionality fails me). I have learned I don’t want a day where the Holy Spirit is kicked out. I don’t want to walk into any situation where the grace of God is not sprinkled. I have also given up trying to achieve perfect. Jesus is perfect and all the perfect I need.

I call it God’s team because it helps me identify with the Trinity. No one team member is more important than the other, but my favorite is the Holy Spirit. With the Spirit, I feel as though God is speaking to me. The Spirit reminds me of the sacrifice made on the cross to make me more gracious and humble in my daily approaches. Having a favorite does not shadow any other member of the team because I can’t hear the name Jesus without wanting it repeated. When the name Jesus is repeated, tears form and fall because I love Him so dearly. Knowing it all comes from God fills me with feelings of acceptance and desires foreign to me that feel good and leave me satisfied no matter my day.

How do I do it? I got to know the one I call God. I personally know my Heavenly Father because of my experiences, studies and heart open to Him being greater than myself.

How do I do it? I don’t in a sense. I daily lower myself so God can be big within me. Some days I spend time in prayer with God throughout my day. Some days I need a great deal of Jesus and listen to Christian music every chance I get. Some days I spend a lot of time with books and the Bible. No day is the same in the way I spend time with God because no day’s circumstances are the same. I leave room for different because I know I am better with God and I don’t want to close off any opportunity to hear His voice in a day.

How do I do it? How do I not! What I screw up, God cleans up, but I got tired of Him cleaning up a mess I created. I don’t want Him hanging His head in disappointment as he wipes me clean. I want God patting me on the back with a smile like a proud parent who can’t wait to teach me more. Grateful I learned the lesson.

I am glad I have the opportunity to have such open ended conversation with my husband. We don’t get out on our own enough to have more of these conversations, but every time I have one with him, I welcome the challengingly thoughts. Growing as a couple enhances our personal walk with Christ as we grow closer to God. Just another gift I thank my Heavenly Father for.

God I continue to pray your love would seep into the hearts of those who hurt and lash out with hate. I thank you God for moments like this that give me breaks from feeling pain of the chaos in the world and focus on the goodness you have blessed me with. Help me to not take my husband for granted. Help me to love him well even when it is hard. Bless him for wanting to be closer to You. Thank you for the cross making this all possible. It is in Jesus perfect name I pray. Amen.

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me. –Luke 9:23 (NLT)