Lead By Example

Life was crazy as a single mom! There was never a dull moment and always something to do. With every responsibility falling solely on my shoulders, I often felt overwhelmed and overworked. Ultimately I wanted the best for my daughter, but my best intentions did not always show my best.

Most weekday mornings were the same. We prepared ourselves quickly because of the drive I had to make downtown during rush hour traffic. Feeling guilty of dropping my daughter off at a daycare she did not like, I tried to ease the negative feelings with breakfast treats of donuts or whatever her heart desired. One particular morning she requested a fast food breakfast so we made our way down the street and pulled into the drive thru line. The line did not move and I was pinned in with cars lined behind me. The drive thru was strategically designed so you could not escape. So there we sat with the clock ticking.

Especially in those days, patience was not a virtue I easily practiced in nerve racking situations. My daughter got an ear full as my rant began. I explained to her how she needed to be a good employee no matter where she worked or what she did. Although only in elementary, I continued with nonsense about how your personal life or being tired or sick should not effect doing a good job. I went even further to explain in detail about how your bad decisions and laziness affect other people.

I had it all figured out sitting in a line outside the back of the establishment with no clue as to what was really going on. It never crossed my mind they could have had the very best staff and their equipment malfunctioned. No matter the reason, I was furious and now running late. The poor drive thru worker heard my every word of disgust for the wait when it was my turn at the window. With no regard to his feelings, I verbally dressed down the blameless worker with my daughter sitting right beside me.

Although having my daughter’s best interests in mind, I was selfish in my behavior displaying embarrassing conduct I wish to never see her repeat. The best lesson I could have taught her, although many were preached during the wait was respect, humility and compassion. Instead she repeated my words to others. Making it even worse she thought it was okay because I had justified my behavior. In that moment I taught my daughter to be impatient, rude, arrogant and selfish. Characteristics I never want to demonstrate and did not even intend to teach.

Interestingly enough I never would describe myself as a selfish person, yet the definition of arrogance is an offensive display of self-importance. Talk about a hard one to understand. The amount of self discipline and understanding to work myself out of this behavioral predicament was beyond overwhelming, but necessary because I was not pleased with what I was teaching my daughter. I was not proud of the impression I left with others when I acted foolishly with my offensive displays of self-importance.

Once again I had to lower myself to allow the power of the Holy Spirit to create in me a change I knew I desperately needed. I did not really know what I was asking for when I prayed for the shift. I made mistake after mistake during the transformation period and got frustrated. With my entitled like thinking, I was disturbed because I was greatly convicted and accepting my reality was hard. How can I change who I am at the core? Why do I have to change who I am? Why can’t others like me for who I am despite my bad habits?

Such an arrogant way of thinking! Like me for who I am despite my weaknesses and overlook how my bad ways hurt your feelings. I did okay with the little moments where patience and humility needed to be inserted, but I really messed up the moments needing the most self control. I fought God’s correction even when I thought I was relenting. Thankfully the power of God is stronger than my stubbornness!

God had this way of putting other’s shoes on my feet. I don’t mean this literally. I started to feel the way others might have felt because of my actions and words. Previous to my transformation activation I thought leading by example was only for me in the sense of managing my team in the work force. Being a manager, I needed to be at work before my shift and stay until the work was complete no matter the time. Leading by example meant I found solutions when it seemed there were none. Leading by example meant showing what I expected.  Although this is true, it is meaningless if my words, tones and actions don’t show I care for those I lead. What is in my heart speaks louder than any lesson I try to teach. God showed me my heart needed to align with Him in all I do.

I had to rid myself of the anger hindering my heart because those who received my anger where not the ones I was really angry with. Sometimes my feelings get hurt and I struggle to see past my own perceptions. When I struggle through these moments, I leaned on the love of my Heavenly Father. His love is contagious. When we are rightfully focused, what comes out of us is centralized and sprouting from the love of God.

Now others are not embarrassed to be with me during the little moments when a waitress makes a mistake or the wait time seems unbearable. Even more remarkable – others have learned from my words, tones and actions. Not because I was giving a lecture, but because I have learned to approach situations with God’s love. The impression of myself left with others is no longer foolish. In my attempts for change, I have unknowingly motivated and inspired others to change. God knows what He is doing. He is clever in His ways and I am thankful He takes time to make me better.

Let God’s love be distinct when you appear weak.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Father, transform what is weak in each of us to make us strong in your name. May you be distinct in our individual walks so our quiet actions, visible tones and audible words magnify the love you have for each of us. Help our love reach the unloved and may we inspire those who feel unlovable. Make us better God. Fill us with your grace. Help us to model Jesus and His ways better and better each day to further your kingdom. Thank you for the cross making it all possible. It is in Jesus perfect name I constantly pray. Amen.