"God Wall"

This morning I woke to an almost silent sniffle cry from my son that started in my room and began to silent the closer he got to his…at three in the morning!

After my husband sent him back to bed I felt sorry for him and although barely awake, I went after his little footsteps to see what was keeping him from sleeping. I found him sitting in his bed with the saddest little face under the shadows of the night. With a soft voice I asked what was wrong and why he wasn’t asleep.

“I’m so sad because when I got in trouble for not eating my vegetables you took all my stuff out of my room and you didn’t put my God stuff back on the wall.”

My initial response was, “IT IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, REALLY!”

But I tried with all my might not to be so verbally callous and completely lacking sympathy. I apologized to him, not fully understanding the ramifications of my slight oversight. I kissed his sad little face, read him a story and shared a mini prayer before making my way back to bed through the quiet house.

But I wasn’t able to find myself back to sleep for some time and began to feel a bit guilty for depriving my son of his reminders of God. In the beginning, it was just a way of showcasing his preschool artwork from church in his room. One became a few and multiplied to many. Before long his room was filled. For me it was a cute placeholder for the take home sheets, but for him - it was a reminder of God. He thought of God’s love and all the things he has learned about Jesus, love and thankfulness when he looked at these items on the wall – his “God Wall.”

My mind went back to the summer he was referring to when I foolishly took his “God Wall” down in punishment due to his complete lack of respect and utter defiance when I cleared his room of everything except furniture. (If you’re interested, you can read more about my learning curve mistake by reading the post titled “Eat Your Veggies”). In desperation of trying to get him back on track with making good decisions and gaining some sort of order in our home again, I took his personal reminders of God away. Now, months later, I was seeing the error in my way.

Hours later and after gaining a little more sleep, I asked him again why he wasn’t able to sleep. I’m not sure why I expected a different answer. I guess I was hoping for a changed, less guilty response to ease the sting of the mistake I realized I’d made. To no surprise, he verified my shame by adding more detail of how I forgot to put God back in his room. Busted! Heart. Broken. (Insert thankfulness of God’s grace!)

Witnessing God work in the little heart sand souls of children is beyond inspiring and points to the amazing, majestic power of our Father. My little boy, God’s son, realized he needed a little help calling on God for help in his time of need. He struggled to follow the rules of not leaving his room until 6 am because he was unable to lean on his visual reminders of God. I’m sure my guilt intensified the situation more than the desire in his heart, but the fact still remains. Sometimes it is hard when we are weak to quiet our desires and deficiencies to lean on God’s power. No matter our stage in life, we are faced with decisions. We usually know the right one, but stumble toward making the right choice in the moment and need help such as visual reminders of God’s promising love.

This past week I was reminded how much I love to hear a room full of people audibly praying at the same time. When everyone else was praying, I looked around the room and just listened to a fraction of what God hears on a regular basis. What sounds like a collective roar of conversation, is not jumbled together in the supernatural ears of our Heavenly Father. Each prayer was heard personally by God. And not just the auditorium I was in – all over the world because people pray all the time, no matter the time. Isn’t it amazing God can decipher each of our voices, spoken or unspoken? He can recognize our heart and identify our needs, said or whispered only in our mind. He can answer the prayers of the young and old. He recognizes each language spoken to Him. There is nothing God can’t hear or understand. No one on this planet can be counted on in times of trouble like God. Our Holy Creator and all knowing Father is where we need to lean and whom we should call on in times of struggle.

Sometimes we focus a lot of energy on what seems to be big decisions - the ones that define our future and perhaps are seen by many. It is easy to get sidetracked from the small, everyday choices when our thoughts are too focused on choices disguised as grander or more important. We miss opportunities for big effect in little choices. Failing to reproduce the “God Wall” hurt my son more than any punishment should have. To be quite honest, I would have never even considered taking the “God Wall” down when removing everything from his room if I knew it held value to his budding spiritual walk. What hurts the most is I chose to ignore his little requests to have it back previous to last night because I thought I had more important and pressing things to do with my time. I did not see the value in his desire at the time. To him it was a big deal. So much so I don’t even think he knew. I had to literally be woken up to the honesty of the situation by God.

To help rectify the situation after I got the kids off to school, I put the “God Wall” back in commission. When he got home, we climbed the stairs to his bedroom. His excitement bounced up and down and was topped with a huge smile. He was happy his room was complete. He may not be able to read just yet, but the visual reminds him of the God who loves him – even when he struggles to make good choices.

Putting reminders of God for the children to see, no matter their age, inspires their personal relationship with Christ and invites God into the home.

You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. -2 Timothy 3:15-16

God, thank you for conviction and loving wake up calls bringing our attention to mistakes just as Matthew 7:3-5 teaches. Not only do you bring light to what we oversee, you show us the course to better ways. You are a good Father. Help us adapt our lives toward practicing scripture like 2 Timothy 3:15-16 in our every day lives so that our children, their children and all the children who follow will walk in your everlasting light. Thank you for Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross gifting us with grace and second chances. It is in Jesus perfect name we pray. Amen.

And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. –Matthew 7:3-5

Power of Prayer

Diane sat idle in the parking lot watching people go inside. Families big and small, friends and couples all entered as though they belonged. But Diane was alone and sensed every bit of her seclusion. Full of leeriness, she had every intention of driving back home, but knew it was wrong. With a deep breath and closed eyes, she turned the car off and made her way inside. Her lack of comfort imagined every eye on her with accompanied whispers of the sad truth she had come alone.

When the service was over, she felt a little proud of herself for not driving back home, but was afraid of how her feelings would shift after being at home. She could hear the annoying sounds that immediately drove her frustration into overdrive as she walked toward the house. Opening the door intensified her feelings of disgust.

“Touchdown!”

Beer cans were everywhere. In slow motion, chips flew into the air and onto her living room floor. The cat scurried out of the room in fear much like Diane. Her arrival went unnoticed so sneaking away to the bedroom was easy. Just as she had predicted, her heart was filled with hopelessness and frustration. She longed for more but it seemed impossible. If her husband was not traveling, he was engrossed in all things sports. She missed him and wanted to do little things like go to church together. Weighted by the difference in how she felt in church and how she felt in her home fed her misery. Disconnect from her feelings on church verses Richard’s created her void of joy.

~  ~  ~  ~

Diane’s phone rang. She excused herself from the office and made her way down the hall.

“Hello.”

“Hi. My name is Susie McNeal. May I please speak with Diane?”
“This is Diane.”
“Hi Diane! I am from church. The information card you submitted shows you have started to come to our church. I wanted to let you know we are so happy to have you.”

“That is very kind of you. I do enjoy coming on Sundays.”

“Wonderful to hear! Listen Diane, do you have anyone praying for you?”

Diane never really thought about it. She didn’t grow up in church to learn about prayer or have relationships with people that prayed for each other.

“No, not really.”

“Well we have a group of ladies here at church that love to pray all day long.”

She chuckled as Diane tried to make it to an empty room so no one could hear her conversation.

“Can we pray for you?”

“Sure. I guess.”

“How can the Lord help you hunny?”

Standing as if she was guarding the door, Diane stood alone in the break room with the smells of burnt coffee filling the room. Without even thinking about it, she began to whisper.

“My husband could really use some prayer. He doesn’t come with me to church. I really miss him and wish he would come…we don’t seem to connect anymore.”

“Diane, I am sorry to hear that, but I can guarantee you we will be praying. This is not too big for God. You keep coming on Sundays and look for me if you need a friend. We will keep praying and God is going to do something awesome in your husband. What’s his name?
“Richard.”

“Okay Diane. Don’t you worry! You have my number, use it anytime!”

“That’s very kind of you. Thank you.”

She hung up after sharing parting words and began to walk back to her desk. She had never experienced anything like this phone call and although a little weirded out by the fact she just told a complete stranger her most personal bit of information, she felt loved by this woman she didn’t even know. It was comforting and strange at the same time.

Months later, the reminder of meeting prayer Susie on the phone came out of the blue and as complete shock when she overheard Richard’s phone conversation.

“Man, it was the weirdest thing! This guy came out of nowhere and asked me if I had a Bible…

…I know…

…Yeah that and if I had a place to go to church…

…No! I practically ran to my car and drove away as fast as I could.”

Diane thought to herself, “Could this be Susie?” She felt curious and a little foolish when she tried to piece together what was happening. Unable to make sense of it, she did not mention it to Richard. He was indeed skeptical of the confrontation, but shrugged it off as nerdy and prepared for his next business trip. Oddly enough, half way through his trip, he was exhausted from meeting after meeting and decided to skip dinner. It was unlike Richard to miss a night of unwinding with colleagues, but went back to the hotel and slept.

In the middle of the night, Richard woke up. He stood out of bed and stretched his arms into the air. He glanced back at the bed and noticed he was still asleep and still in bed. Without thinking twice about being awake while asleep, he made his way out the door. But nothing looked familiar after opening his door into what should have been the fancy carpeted hallway. Instead, he was already outside in the middle of the most obscure landscape. As he looked around to find something or someone familiar, he turned in all directions with nowhere to go. Just as he began to feel the panic of being lost, he heard a voice calling his name. “Richard” Without thinking, he began to walk in the direction of the unyielding tone clearly articulating his name over and over again. Unaware as to where he was going, he continued to follow the invisible pursuit. Without any thought of giving up or turning back around, he began to run as he felt the call more urgently. Suddenly he was no longer alone. Just as he rounded the last corner he could see a silhouette of a man holding out his hands to lead him up a long set of concrete stairs. When he got closer to the distinguished figure he automatically recognized the man as the guy offering him a Bible in the parking lot. This time he was not menaced by his presence, but comforted by him. He no longer felt lost. He joined hands with the man and walked up the stairs. Richard seemed to lose his breath when he noticed he was being led to Diane’s church. With an unaccustomed and unexpected natural inclination, Richard entered the building. His heart sad. The man walked him directly to Diane sitting alone in the pew. Richard could tell by the look on her face - she sat in humiliation and with much heartache. He reached out to comfort her, but she did not feel his touch. Frightened by the thought she could not see him, Richard looked up for the man. But he could not find him and felt automatic panic set in. Just then, the familiar stranger walked by as if he never left and said, “Do not be afraid. I will not leave you.”

Don't be afraid of an unfamiliar
path God calls you down.

Sweat and tears plummeted down his face. He sat up with bed with panic and looked around the dark room. It was just a dream…was that God? The message was clear. The conviction carved in his mind. He grabbed his phone to call Diane, but noticed it was 3 am. He did not want to wake her. He paced the hotel floor in scared amazement of his parking lot encounter followed by this dream. Unable to sleep, he readied himself for work and headed into the office. The next days a blur, fixated on the calling from his dream directly related to the ignored calling in his life, he ended his trip early. Sunday morning he boarded a plane with an excited distress. He wanted to make it in time to sit next to Diane in church. When the plane landed, his leg consistently bounced into the air with an impatient desire. No way would his beloved sit alone again in that pew. When the path of people cleared, he ran.

“Taxi!”

Diane was already at church. The music began as she sat alone – still uncomfortable and lonely. Holding her hands in her lap with no one by her side to hold. Her head held low.

Richard flew into the church, luggage flying behind him. Stopping to collect composure, he parked his bags in a corner and walked toward Diane. He sat softly and looked at the sad girl from his dream. Putting his hand over hers he whispered, “I’m here.”

Never underestimate the power of prayer!

Jesus is our perfect example. In every way we can learn from His time on earth. He too prayed for others. Despite what He had going on (preparing for His death to save us all) and the fact He was God Himself, Jesus knew the importance of intercessory prayer. Learn from Jesus. Pray for others. It will intensify your closeness with your Heavenly Father in ways you never imagined or dreamed possible.

Just as you sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. And I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them so they can be made holy by your truth. I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one – as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. –John 17:18-21 (NLT)

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

 -Romans 12:12 (NLT)

He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” –Luke 22:41-42 (NLT)

Mama Bear Interrupted

One of my favorite movies is The Devil Wears Prada. I love the way Andy is determined to work hard to achieve her goal. Worn out from working hard with no reward, she voices her opinion of her disagreeable boss with a whiny tone and lazy demeanor because she wanted to be heard. Initially shocked by the reply given to her whines, she quickly realizes she has the option to accept constructive criticism to better herself. Andy makes suggested adjustments and quickly begins marching down the path of success. She does well on the difficult job and exceeds expectations. The problem is she took her focus off what she really wanted. Things once important to her fell off her priority list and as success mounted, her life began to crumble.

Last week a situation occurred where someone’s mistake hurt one of my kids. A bad decision followed by lack of follow through created a stressful situation damaging many, but my focus was on the damage brought to my kid. I was a mad Mama Bear ready to defend her baby. I made phone calls, sent emails and did everything I could to try and speak to someone to begin attack on the guilty party only to receive no response.

The problem is, I am not a bear living in the wild. Nor was my child in a life-threatening situation justifying Mama Bear. Unlike mothers in the wild, I have a voice.

Life is unfair. Bad things happen. Unfair hands are dealt. We have the choice of deciding what we are going to do with our choice and our voice. Andy walked away because she realized she was stepping on others and the expectation of the success was not what she wanted. Nor did the success line up with her original goals. She did not make a big fuss. She did not yell and lay out in detail how she was mistreated. She calmly expressed her opinion and walked away.

So it made me think. What will my ruckus cost my child and me? Will the chaos created control or change the damage? Will the uproar hurt my child more in the long run? Who would I step on in the process of being heard? What values would I throw out the window to be understood? I needed to stop and clarify what I really wanted. This is one moment. One mistake. There will be many others and when I roar like an angry Mama Bear, what really matters to me is not heard. Lasting and good change I really want is likely to be missed and I will look like a fool. Trying to think clearly was still clouded by anger, but I was trying.

Even though I started down the path familiar to me, God intervened. The email I thought I sent sprinkled with attitude and judgment was not received on the other end. I unknowingly had the email address wrong. When I looked at the automatic undeliverable reply, I realized God was giving me a second chance. At first I thought the second chance was to rewrite the email more to the point deleting the attitude and judgment to be replaced with nameless finger pointing, but the email sat for hours because I had to attend a church service focused on praising and worshiping God. Although my mind’s spotlight was on this problematic situation, I had committed to attending church and knew it was where I belonged. As the band played, I felt thankful of all God has done in my life both past and present. I began to lose heart to resend any email or go down the path of a stress filled fight. God changed my heart because I took a break to focus on Him. Because I was lost in love of a thankful heart, I was unable to find all the anger I carried into church. I could completely approach the situation differently and more as Christ would.

Walking away is hard because no one hears all of the feelings I’m feeling.  In the past, I caused damage to already stressful situations resulting from someone’s error by laying out the fault and describing it in detail.  I think I have done this because it is satisfying to feel validated, but it hurt when I realized I was hurting people past their error. Drawing closer to God, I know God knows and cares about my pain or dissatisfaction. I also know He does not want me punishing others for their sins or mistakes. He wants me to move past what I think is too difficult to approach hard situations with grace and humility. The more situations God puts in my path, I can clearly see the lesson He is trying to teach me to better love like Jesus.

When I returned from church, I deleted the email and had a conversation with my husband telling him I wanted to be different. I didn’t want to be the Mama Bear anymore. I wanted to stand firm for God and sprinkle situations with grace and humility as best I knew how. So when my call was returned the next day, I had a very pleasant conversation free of Mama Bear and much to my surprise the situation had already been worked on. The proper wheels were in motion to find resolution because I let God do what He does best.

I am learning how to be satisfied with God to prevent me from acting out so poorly. Even though I thought the fight was originally worth it, the way I would have approached the situation would have made God’s head hang in disappointment. Although it might have brought on temporary satisfaction and I knew I was right, there was a little part of me that felt wrong. A little tug saying stop.

“Let your conversations be gracious and attractive
so that you will have the right response for everyone.”
- Colossians 4:6

So do we listen to the tug of the Holy Spirit and show grace? Approach situations with humility? Teach our children that every battle is not worth fighting? You have to think about what is going to happen once you expose yourself as Mama Bear and the feelings of the people you will hurt. My life goal is to make God smile with my choices. Each day brings new opportunities. The passion I have inside needs to be used to spread the gospel, teach people God’s love and show God’s love – in all situations.

Last week I had a choice to fight. I chose grace. I chose humility because I choose God and His rewards are far greater than being heard by the world. I want to be a blank canvas so he can paint in me a beautiful masterpiece. I can rest knowing God is in control.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? -Romans 8:31 (NLT)

Therefore, accept each other as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. -Romans 15:7 (NLT)

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. -Colossians 4:2 (NLT)