Puppet of God

So often I thought I am not good enough. Deep down inside I wanted to cower in the background. I wanted to go unnoticed thinking I had nothing to offer. Inherent and accustomed ways of thinking left me feeling somewhat comfortable, but still pointed me to the back of a crowd. My comfort came with unsettlingly feelings and wanting more. I was attempting to appear strong on the outside to feel loved on the inside and constantly longed for acceptance. Being in the back, hidden in the crowd, I distanced myself from others and blamed people for not making me feel whole.

Bishop T.D. Jakes said, “God gives us new grace everyday to discover ourselves.”

God knows the dark dwelling inside. He knows we need new mercy and favor each day to hold our head up in this world. In Genesis chapter 3, guilt entered the world. We look at this passage of scripture as the fall – when sin entered the world. Guilt stems into a multitude of negative, numbing and dangerous emotions to make us hide from who we really are or what we have done.  The first man and woman of the earth hid from God for the first time after their sin. Because of their wrong doing and sinful decision making, they were so guilty they felt naked. Sure they were without clothes, but now they felt exposed as if they should not be seen because of what they’d done. We have more in common with Adam and Eve than just our sinful nature. We like to hide from our truths. You may not be like me and literally want to hide in the back of the room, but we hide who we really are or what we have done. Because of our guilt and attempts to cover what we have done, we fall into lies and more sin to find ourselves lost in immorality. Satan is our puppeteer. His deceitful ways encourage us to continue down a path to separate us from God because he does not want us to experience the daily grace of God.

Are you okay with Satan as your puppeteer? When I learned Satan wanted me feeling little, pointless and insignificant to keep me from God, I was fueled to grow closer to God. I wanted to let Satan know his ways were not welcome in my life.

I first learned details of the story of Gideon* when reading the Bible to my son at bedtime. Gideon’s audible lack of self confidence caught my attention right away. The way he tried to talk God out of his calling several times made me feel sad, guilty and convicted as I sat on the side of my son’s bed. I too have done this with God. So many times I have told myself, and even worse God, I am not good enough. With my son looking at me with eager eyes to hear the rest of the story, I quickly realized God has tailored me much like Gideon. The many signs God has faithfully shown throughout my story proved to me God was actively living out His promises in my life.

I have to accept the fact I am all God needs me to be. Broken can be made new with God shining through our cracks. Average can be phenomenal when God’s unending mercy transforms what seems lifeless. With God guiding our thoughts, speech and actions we are less likely to fall into evil traps of deception. When our hearts and desires are focused on loving God, we begin to show the love of God because of the grace and mercy we have accepted is alive in us.

Who I am is contingent on who I choose to let control me. If we allow God’s new grace shine in our lives, we become a puppet of God. His character is actively given with each of His movements to transform ours. God lovingly holds and sophisticatedly moves each string individual to our insufficiency and urgency. He moves past our knowledge and makes changes above what we can see. When we feel weak, he rescues with strength. When circumstances leave us depleted, he bestows endurance. During moments evil and anger want to spew out of us, God moves our strings gently with love and forgiveness. With God as our puppeteer, we create a beautiful story and leave our R rated stories in the past.

Hand the strings over to God.  Accept His grace daily. Discover the new you with God in control.

God I pray the promises spoken in the Bible are felt as promises made to us individually so we are able to relinquish control of our lives to you one string at a time. Guide our paths with your promises so we are able to see your faithfulness to encourage and inspire us to give you another string until they are all with you. Whether Satan or our selfish ways hold the strings, help us to see the truth so we become a puppet of God living beautifully to enlarge your Kingdom. Thank you for the cross making transformation possible. It is in Jesus perfect name I pray. Amen.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. –Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

*Gideon’s story begins in Judges chapter 6.