Experiencing the Clash

When I was a new believer and follower of Christ everything about Christianity sounded so great. I wanted to experience the love and acceptance preached from the pulpit to drown the overwhelming feelings of pain and isolation. Unfortunately, the burning desire was not sufficient because I did not know how to discern what I read in the Bible and I surely did not know how to implement what I read. Sermons were awesome and inspiring, but when I left the church walls, life began to happen again and I floundered because I was looking for immediate results. What I wanted was so foreign to the world I lived in and my new desires created conflict.

I lacked the knowhow to put pieces together and was misguided by not fully understanding scripture, allowing others to influence my beliefs and intensify my fears. My newly found spirituality clashed with my lifestyle, ways of thinking, habits, and even what other people were accustomed to in my life. Experiencing this clash has not solely taken place at the beginning of my walk with Christ. Time and again I have sensed a sort of kick back to faith. Different situations have all pointed to the fact our human and sinful nature get in the way to explain the conflict in our soul. God knows this conflict we live with. He knows we need help; therefore, we have been gifted The Bible along with tools and resources to aid in our understanding of this precious gift to mend our soul.

Exodus 33 is a beautiful story illustrating a right relationship between God and Moses. We can learn so much from this story to help keep our eyes focused on God.

Moses was prepared and built up by God. He was intentional and purposeful to have conversations with God. He knew prayer grew strength and comfort to his faith. In verse 18 Moses courageously said to God, “Then show me your glorious presence.” God’s response in verse 19 is, “I will make all my goodness pass before you.” When I started learning about a relationship with God, I originally thought all I had to do was ask. I later learned the full truth. There is more to prayer than simply asking God for what we need. We have to build a relationship with God to know His ways and desires. Our prayers should line up with the things we need to be equipped and built on His solid foundation. (1 John 5:14-15) Asking apart from the individual relationship can isolate us to selfish thoughts driving us to miss the opportunity to fully experience God as Moses did. We have to have our heart and mind open to see the goodness God puts in our path. In the beginning of this story, Moses did not get the response he was looking for from God. But he trusted God. His boldness and honesty with God helped him to understand God’s intentions and accept the reality of his situation.

I love the way this story describes the intimacy of prayer time. Verse 9 says, “As he went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and hover at its entrance while the Lord spoke with Moses.” The word intimacy used to distract me when I heard it referred to as a kind of relationship we can have with God. This verse helped me discern and relate to the kind of intimacy valuable to our spiritual health. When we go to God with the intent and focus to experience His presence, it matters to Him. It is exclusive. Because he loves us, He meets with us with a closeness that satisfies the soul. God intently unites with us because He desires us as much as our heart demands Him.

I heard a speaker describe our walk with God differently than I heard before to make it stick in my mind. She said, “God holds our hand just as a mom holds the hand of a baby learning to walk to prevent falls.” Not only does He walk with us and hold our hand, He goes before us to make the difficult paths possible. We can trust Him and know despite the heartache and pain, He is there guiding us through it as headlights guide us down a dark road. If we close our eyes, the headlights have no purpose and we are sure to crash. We have to have our eyes fixated on Him with our heart and mind ready to receive the goodness He will leave in our path. When we obsess on the pain or situation dragging us down, we miss God. We miss what He is doing in our life and may even become angry with Him.

1 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. – Psalm 40:1-2 (NLT)

Lord, help us to feel your presence in the good and most definitely in the bad. May our minds be focused on the things from above and not the things on this earth. Amen. (Colossians 3:2)

1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither – whatever they do prospers. 4 Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. 5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. 6 For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction. –Psalm 1:1-6 (NIV)