I Surrender

As the music began, my mind became aware of each breath and beat of my heart. Swaying in the presence of the Holy Spirit, I began to sing words to my Father I so desperately needed to say to Him.

“I surrender”

Aware of each breath and heartbeat, I recognized the moment was for me. He took my focus off the others in the worship center that sang along. He cleared my mind of each family member I so often put first. Just the two of us. Feeling drained and inadequate, my loving Father was the medicine essential to my troubled soul. I was captivated by the majesty of His presence. Tears tumbled. Singing suspended. Head bowed. I leaned into God. In my weakness, I was made strong. “Rachel, hold strong. No fear, no doubt, no relationship strain or any of your worldly based anxiety is bigger than me. Because you said yes to me, I will hold you up. I have done it before and I will do it again. Remember me. Remember what I have done for you. Together we are going to do amazing things. Stay focused. I love you.”

I didn’t actually hear these words. I felt them. My words seem to fall short when used to describe my moments with God and the majesty of the Holy Spirit when He comes to me personally to strengthen and encourage me. He has this way of shifting my focus. He reminds me of His perfect love to make me feel like I have the best cheerleader. He wants me focused. He wants me ready. For this, He reminds me of truths to take my focus off my worries of unknown. As much as I try to be a Noah and just build the boat, I spend time wasted in thoughts. He frequently realigns my thoughts to be focused on Him. For example just this week, I was worried about money as we ran into yet another financial change. Oh no! What are we going to do? I can’t keep doing this! I need to do something different to help control the situation ways of stressing and thinking began to flood inside me. I scrolled over to the verse of the day on my phone and what do you know? I was reading Malachi 3:10 which says, “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!”

Repeatedly God has shown His faithfulness to me. As the song continued, my tears turned to mini sobs. I was reminded of his little reminders like the one from Malachi and of times I actually surrendered to Him. Not for my part of the surrender, but for His answers and movement to constantly show He is indeed the promise keeper He says He is.

Can you see His handprint on your life?

I have experienced days when He was the only one keeping promises. My jobs have fallen short of the promises they speak of. People. Oh. My. Gosh. People have for sure not been able to follow through with promises. When I really think about it, I have not kept each promise I have made. But God! God has followed through with every single one of His promises. I read of them in the Bible, the Holy Spirit personalizes them for me and I can almost point at moments in my life where the promises came true. Not once have I found myself looking back at situations to see Him void. His handprint is on my life.

Years ago things got so bad for me I almost literally fell to pieces when my daughter left to visit her dad. I was crippled with fear and driven by anger. I thought of nothing but her wellbeing and safety when she was not with me. My new marriage started to suffer because I let the worry consume me. My out of control thoughts took me away from what was right in front of me. My job became hard because my focus was not right. The relationships surrounding me all seemed to be lacking and missing something. Blinded by my emotions, I did not see I was the missing piece to the relationships. I was giving everyone only partial of what I really had to give because ultimately my energy was lost to worry. The Holy Spirit started to tug and pull at my heart to point my focus to Christ. I had heard all about surrendering to God, but it never went any further than something I heard. I never tried. When I finally attempted to surrender my daughter to Christ, I took her back many times because the lack of control seemed too hard and frightening. My decisions were clouded and misguided by lies when God was already so beautifully in control. Of course I continued to struggle and situations resulted negatively so I ultimately gave her back to the Lord and left her with Him. I was free - almost instantly. Sure I had to refocus my thoughts to the surrender when my mind automatically began to worry, but I had a security in Christ. He loved her. He watched over her when I could not. He comforted her when in ways I couldn’t. His Spirit could be with her to give her wisdom and guidance surpassing my capabilities. He moved in ways I could not to protect her. I realized she needed more than I was capable of and moved aside to let God be God. Bad situations started to sprout different signs of positivity and change began in more than just me.

The intimacy felt with God in church during the song reminded me I needed to surrender my doubts so I could better answer His calling. I said to him, “Lord, I surrender the hold the lies and ways of the world have on me. Help me to be strong in only you so I am able to be a voice for you.” The song continued and I felt as if I was held in His arms. I began to sing again and my heart and mind where open to hear a great sermon to only further the conversation we just shared.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Lord, worry is in us all - some more than others (hand raised). Help us to live out Proverbs 3:5 in our everyday thoughts and decisions. We know your ways are better, but it is so hard to let go of control. May we stand firm in verse 6 and have blinders removed to see your promise play out in our life. Thank you for your son Jesus. Thank you for your love and grace. It is in Jesus name we pray. Amen.

Close your eyes for a moment and reflect on Him as your Promise Keeper.

Read the verses below. Pray the Holy Spirit would personalize them for your soul so you trust more, worry less and release control to your Wonderful and Mighty Savior. 

Yet if you devote your heart to him and stretch out your hands to him,

if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,

then, free of fault, you will lift your face;

you will stand firm and without fear. –Job 11:13-15 (NIV)

Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? – Matthew 16:24-26 (MSG)

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.

Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. – Psalm 37:7 (NLT)

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. – Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (NIV)